There once was a fierce child.
Playing in the mud, singing without fear, at one with the divine.
Over time, through teachers and mis-teachers
it became clear that
she was too much.
She learned to close her mouth,
to twist and turn in on herself,
to sugar-coat, please, diminish, self-censor,
to bend and blend and effectively disappear.
She developed chameleon abilities,
smoothed over arguments with pleasantries, hardened herself to attention, endlessly shrank and smoothed her voice and body, infused what little remained of her words with niceness.
But in the process of growing up while un-becoming herself, she lost…
Lost the wild colors and flavors of her world, her desire, her focus, and most of all, her authentic voice.
After years of searching for an opening to be herself, she realized there was no where in the world for her muchness to unfurl unless she was completely alone.
No one knew all of who she really was anymore, least of all herself.